Hi, this is Daniel Garber at the Movies for culturalmining.com and CIUT 89.5 FM.

It’s holiday time, so now’s when you watch the blockbusters and big studio releases. Don’t worry, I’ll be talking about lots more art house and indie movies in January, but for now here’s some more schlock to keep you in the theatres: “bums in seats”. This week I’m talking about two new movies: a new maid working in a mysterious mansion, and giant cat people fighting off humans on a distant planet.  

The Housemaid

Dir: Paul Feig

Millie (Sydney Sweeney) is a young woman in her twenties looking for a job in Teaneck, New Jersey. Smart, pretty, and hard-working, she’s willing to do almost anything. So when she’s offered a vague position by the Winchesters, a very rich family, she jumps at the chance. She’s homeless and on parole, with five years left to her sentence (a fact she conveniently left out of her application.) What’s the job? Sort of a “Jane of all trades: cook, maid, janitor, personal assistant, and nanny for their daughter, a spoiled and bossy 8-year-old named Ceecee (Indiana Elle). She’s hired by the reserved but lovely Nina (Amanda Seyfried). Her husband Andrew Winchester (Brandon Sklenar) is a tech bro, and heir to a vast family fortune. Millie is given a private room at the top of a steep staircase, a garret with slanted walls and a small, barred window. 

But after a few days, the drawbacks of this job begin to reveal themselves. Nina is given to increasingly violent outbursts, blaming all her problems on the newly hired Millie. And the handsome and buff Andrew seems to show up half dressed to flirt whenever Millie is alone, making Nina’s intense jealousy seem less irrational. She overhears the rich housewives of Teaneck who say Nina has lost her marbles.So Millie is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Nina keeps gaslighting her, setting her up for impossible situations. If she’s fired she’ll be sent back to jail. But she also secretly lusts for Andrew, if even for one night. Should she placate Nina, fend off Andrew’s advances, or throw caution to the wind? And what are the backstories these three people keep tucked away?

The Housemaid (based on the bestselling novel by Freida McFadden), is a suspense thriller with a psycho-sexual subplot. It has lots of sex, violence and intrigue, but told in a kitschy style, like a steamy late-night telenovela. While  Seyfried is way over the top Sweeney seems more reserved, though there are eventual reasons for their weird behaviours (no spoilers.) But even the plot twists — and there are a lot of them — are laughable. And the side characters — like Enzo, the silently, lurking gardener — are there mainly for guffaws. Don’t look for any highbrow meaning here —  it’s pure cheese — but The Housemaid is still craptastically watchable.

Avatar, Fire and Ash

Co-Wri/Dir: James Cameron

It’s the future on Pandora, a far-off planet populated by cat-like humanoids with blue or green skin and long tails. They have always lived in harmony with nature, until the arrival of the Sky People, aka earthlings. Having ruined the Earth, humans want to colonize Pandora for the lucrative whale trade. But in order to breathe there, humans — specifically the US Marine Corps — need a mask, making it difficult to take over the planet. So they use avatars, instead: human memories and identities transferred into the bodies of the Na’vi, as the locals are known. Now, years later, one avatar named Jake (Sam Worthington) has blended in with the locals, marrying and raising a family, while leaving his days as a Marine far behind. Until now. The sky people are back with a vengeance: they plan on killing all the whales — along with countless Na’vi casualties —  and ruining yet another planet. 

Fortunately, Jake and his family — his wife Neytiri (Zoe Saldaña), Loak his son (Britain Dalton) Kiri his magical daughter (Sigourney Weaver) and a friend of theirs, Spider (Jack Champion) a blond American with dreadlocks, all agree that the Sky People must be stopped. Unfortunately, Col. Quaritch (Stephen Lang) another avatar soldier (and Jake’s former ranking officer) wants to stop the Na’vi at all costs. And when he teams up with a devil-worshipping cult, led by the scary Varang (Oona Chaplin), offering weapons in exchange for soldiers, it looks like the humans will triumph once again. Is there still a chance to save Pandora?

Avatar: Fire and Ash is the third (and last?) in a series of 3D animated movies, directed by James Cameron (2009, 2023). It’s a somewhat messy combination of science fiction, action, romance, and spirituality told from an ecological viewpoint. It’s extremely long (3 1/4 hours!) to cover dozens of sub plots and characters carrying over from the previous movies. I saw the other two but only vaguely remember the storylines. I have no deep devotion to the Avatar universe, any more than I do to Lord of the Rings, Star Wars or Marvel comics. I do like the style though and find the creatures cool: 15 feet tall with lithe blue tattooed bodies — the women have macrame hemp bikini tops artfully draped over their torsos — and they fly around on tamed pterodactyls. What’s not to like? And there are parts that I found quite moving. That said it’s way, way, way, way, way too long. They could easily have covered everything in half the time. I guess no one told Cameron to cut stuff out. If you’re an Avatar devotee, I think you’ll like it. But if you’re an Avatar virgin, don’t start with this one — it’s just too much to take in. 

The Housemaid and Avatar Fire and Ash are now playing in Toronto; check your local listings.

This is Daniel Garber at the Movies, each Saturday morning, on CIUT 89.5 FM and on my website culturalmining.com.